HOW TO COPE WITH A DIFFICULT PARENT, FEEL BETTER AND GROW STRONGER.  

Stay calm, believe in yourself and have hope.  

Having a horrid parent can make you feel very lonely.  Here are some simple ways to help you feel hopeful and cope better.
Remember every child deserves to be loved including you. 
And that it is NOT your fault if your parent is horrid.

How do I know if my parent is horrid?

Your mum or dad might keep saying unkind things to you and call you horrid names.

They might try to tell you what you do and evenwhat to think.

They might twist what you say.

They might tell you off all the time.

They might be selfish, and only things affect them rather than you. 

They might often be angry or in a bad mood.

They might make you feel unloved and unwanted.

What can I do?

It’s best not to ARGUE WITH THEM, TRY TO GET YOUR OWN BACK or RUN OFF.  It won’t help and might make things worse. 

Why is my parent horrid?

They may have had a tough childhood themselves, but it is not an excuse for them to behave badly to you.

Why do they get so angry?

Anything and everything can upset your parent.  That’s why it’s a good idea to learn how to cope. 

I get angry too, and hurt and frightened.  It’s so unfair.  I need help.

Here are some suggestions.  

Try and stay calm and keep telling yourself that things will get better.

Learn how to breathe slowly and steadily. You will feel calmer.

Try not to look directly at your mum or dad during a row. You will feel less involved. 

Instead go to your room where you can:

Listen to music.

Call a friend

Have a bath or shower

Go for a walk or take some exercise.

Write down some of your thoughts.

You will also feel better generally if you:

Get a good night’s sleep, eat healthy food and take exercise.

Keep telling yourself that you are a good person.

Remember that you will not live at home forever.

My friends have lovely parents.  I can’t talk to them about my own.

It’s hard for others to understand how your parent makes you feel.  Test them out carefully first by casually mentioning that your parent is a bit difficult.  If they understand you can tell them more about your life at home and they can help support you.

 Your future

Have hope that your life will be different.

Make plans about what you might do.

Try to avoid relationships with people who behave like your parents.

Choose people who bring out the best in you and help you feel confident.

Think about what you could do differently not to be a parent like them. 

Believe in yourself.  You can prove your parent is wrong about you by doing something you enjoy and can do well in. 

A small percentage of parents are violent and/or sexually abusive towards their children. If this is your experience you need to get help quickly. Contact Childline at www.childline.org.uk