Unfortunately there is no escape from a  horrid parent whether you are their only child or one of several.  The only thing that changes is how they demean you.   

A difficult parent can single out one child, within the family,  try to belittle them and constantly find fault with whatever they do.  They may manipulate one or all the children to set them up against each other.  Or keep changing the child they pick on as the mood takes them.  This  is particularly undermining as none of the children can have a clue where they stand and can all feel vulnerable and insecure.   Or  they might pick on all the siblings except for one ‘star’ child who in their eyes can do no wrong. Whatever the situation, it is unbearably unfair to see others favoured and it leads to intense feelings of rivalry and jealousy.

Just as no two families are the same, siblings react to each other in many different ways.  They can be tremendously supportive and soften the pain that a horrid parent can cause. A kind older sibling might be tender and caring for a younger sibling, read them stories, comfort them when they cry. Or they can gang up and bully the sibling in question, making that sibling’s childhood even more unhappy. They might call that sibling unkind names, put them down by laughing at their efforts and sneering at their failures. It is sad to see that often unkind traits continue down the generations.

If your sibling is treating you in the same way as your horrid parent one way to cope is to try and share the good and the painful times with them.  This is only possible if they are sympathetic towards you.  If instead they are unmoved by your stories they are unlikely to be of much help or comfort to you. If you find the they gang up against you, or are likely to report what you say back to your horrid parent then keep quiet and don’t make yourself vulnerable.

As hard as it is you need determination to build up your self-worth and confidence.  None of this is your fault. Try talking, carefully at first to a trusted adult if your sibling is not going to help you. Your priority is to protect yourself. It may also help to distance yourself emotionally from the family and keep reminding yourself that what you are experiencing as a child will not last forever.

See our What Makes a Horrid Parent and the Coping pages on the website for lots more suggestions.