These last few months have been the worst in my life.  Although I am only 25, I was one of the early ones to catch covid-19.   I had the usual high temperature, terrible cough and no sense of smell or taste.   I stayed away from home for three weeks and was looked after by my flat mate, who did her best putting meals outside my bedroom and keeping me supplied with drinks.  I didn’t expect my mother to come with comforting soup or anything else.  Nor did she.  

After the three weeks my flat mate had to leave and as I felt unable to look after myself so I came home.  I’ve had terrible exhaustion which is one of the after effects and hard to fight against.  My mother, however, has been awful.  She calls me lazy and selfish because I don’t help about the house and ungrateful for her meals.  I can’t help it that I don’t have an appetite but the meals she leaves me are largely inedible.  I don’t know whether it is deliberate or not. 

She won’t come into my bedroom, even though I have a mask ready just in case.  She says she doesn’t want to catch the virus, but my doctor has said I am no longer contagious.  I am too tired to see or even speak to  friends so I just lie in bed or read on  my own.  In a way I shouldn’t expect more from her as she wasn’t a caring mother even when I was small.  

What shall I do? 

OUR COMMENTS 

How difficult for you to have had a bad dose of the virus and now are suffering from your mother’s behaviour.  It must be a painful contrast between the care your flatmate showed you and your mother’s unkindness.   

Although it’s unlikely she’ll catch the virus from you at this late stage, perhaps she  fears she might and is keeping her distance.  But staying away has made you feel guilty that you can’t help around the house.  It is thoughtless, however, not to try to give you food she knows you’d enjoy to help you get your appetite and energy back.  Have you tried to give her some ideas of what you’d like to eat?

Overall her behaviour  shows what a complex person she is and sadly there is little that you can do to change her attitude.  Perhaps you could think about going somewhere else where you could be looked after.  If you have to stay with your mother we suggest that you focus on doing what you can to build yourself up.  Even at your age it can take some time to recover from covid-19.  It might help to accept your limitations but also set yourself some simple attainable goals that won’t require too much energy but will make you feel more positive. There are some helpful online websites that give post-viral recovery programmes.   

Perhaps you could also try to vary your day by listening to podcasts, watching programmes you like and emailing friends when you feel up to it.  Staying in touch with good friends even for a few minutes at a time will help boost your mood.  When you are ready try to get some fresh air and do some gentle exercise which can hugely help you feel better .