FOOD 

Cooking the Christmas meal inevitably involves a lot of work, particularly if family members have strong food preferences.  An increasingly number of young people in particular have become vegetarian or vegan.  Others may be unable to eat meat or dairy due to medical issues or allergies.   Not only does it mean extra work, it can trigger an argument and give a horrid parent a reason to complain that all the demands for different food is ruining her Christmas.    

Our advice is to tell your horrid parent in advance what you, your partner or children won’t or can’t eat.  Make it clear you don’t want to make more work for her and offer to bring a course yourself. If they see this as a rejection say you will equally be happy to have the same vegetables as the rest of the family as long as they as not cooked with the turkey or covered with gravy. Try to be positive about any food that you can eat. 

If, however, you are hosting Christmas day for the family you can of course make your own plans and make both traditional dishes and special food for your guests with specific needs.  Be aware that even if you are doing all the work your horrid parent may criticise you for accommodating everyone’s wishes.  If this happens try to stay calm as Christmas is a time for kindness and making everyone feel welcome.   

LAZY RELATIVES 

When families gather there will always be those who will immediately offer to help and others who expect everything to be done for them.   This is especially true over the Christmas meal, but there is no need for anyone to be a martyr. Or feel resentful that some of the family expect to be waited on.  

Get round the problem by planning ahead and letting guests know that you are encouraging everyone to help with the preparations.  Well before Christmas choose some tasks that are appropriate for their age and ability and let them know what you’d like them to help do on the day, whether it is peeling potatoes, laying or clearing the table.  If that’s too complicated to sort out in advance have a white board ready when they arrive with a list of chores that need doing and ask them to sign up for perhaps three things. 

Try to make the preparations as fun as possible. If your horrid parent refuses to join in, try inviting them to help create a great atmosphere by choosing some carols or other music to play while everyone else is working.