It’s almost unbelievable but I found myself overdrawn at the bank because my mother has been using my credit card details to buy things for herself on Amazon. 

She lives comfortably and she is still working so I assume she is not short of money.  Even worse, she didn’t mention a word about it to me.  It was desperately embarrassing as my bank called about being overdrawn and I told them firmly that it wasn’t possible.  I was really shocked when I looked on line and assumed that my account had been hacked.   

The only way I found out she was the culprit was when I told her what had happened during our weekly phone call. I’m always looking for something innocuous to say to pass the time and this seemed as good a subject as any.   

She listened then said: ‘Ah that was me. I couldn’t find my card so I used the details on yours.’  It took a great deal of effort to keep my voice calm, because I know from my childhood if I shouted she would shout back much louder.  Instead I said I looked after my expenditure very carefully and would have appreciated knowing what she was doing in advance.  She laughed and said it was about time I paid some things for her after all she did for me when I was small.  

I have acquired a new credit card, which I am not telling her about and make sure it is never on view.  But fancy not even apologising.  But then she is never in the wrong.  

OUR COMMENTS: 

It must be deeply shocking to realise the extent to which your horrid parent can’t be trusted. Sadly this can happen all too often when a parent has an over inflated sense of their own entitlement and disregards their offspring.  They may casually use their child’s money, take items from their room or home, or even someone else’s belongings, often using the  ridiculous justification that the person it belonged to ‘wasn’t looking after it properly’.  

You are fortunate that your mother admitted her theft - for that is what it is – a horrid parent like her will usually react very badly to being found out and challenged.  

You have also done well to manage your mother by selecting topics of conversation that should avoid trouble, as well as staying calm when she laughed in response to your request to be told in advance about using your money.  It reflects how well you are coping.

Do remind yourself that you don’t owe your parent anything beyond common courtesy.